Work in Progress
by whoaitspurple
Summary: Originally written for Pezberry week for the Locked in theme. Set after Frenemies and on. She hops out of the cab in front of the all too familiar beat up building and Santana takes a deep breath. She's almost thankful that there was a substantial reason for her being here and not just to declare to Rachel Berry that she may or may not be in love with her.
1. Chapter 1

"You know, since you don't live here anymore, you really shouldn't have keys to get in." Santana says in a matter-of-fact tone of voice as she shrugs her coat off and watches Rachel going through kitchen cupboards. She had just gotten off work at the diner and was really, _really_ looking forward to having a peaceful night at the apartment while Kurt was out watching a show with the other theatre freaks. She's actually in a pretty decent mood until she sees Rachel and she builds herself up for another one of their spats.

Rachel doesn't even look up from her task and just continues rummaging through the cupboards, "My name is still on the lease, which means I still have every right to come in as I please." She mutters with just as much mockery as Santana's comment.

"Ah, here it is." The shorter girl says, holding up a black mug with gold stars painted on it.

Santana folds her arms across her chest and leans against one of the counters, "You came all the way here for a mug?"

"It's my favorite mug and Elliot only has one for himself at the apartment." Rachel mumbles, grabs her coat, still not looking at the taller girl and makes her way toward the front door.

Santana rolls her eyes, pushes herself off the counter and makes her way towards her side of the loft, a little surprised that Rachel's not even bothering to start another fight.

She ditches the diner uniform and into something more comfortable when she hears Rachel cursing under her breath and Santana peaks out of her curtain and sees Rachel trying - and very much failing—to slide the loft door open.

"Santana! I told you guys to get the super to fix this damn thing!" Rachel yells out while she puts her bag down with the mug and tries to yank the big metal door open again.

Santana lets out a deep breath and pulls open her curtain, watching Rachel in slight amusement.

Rachel puffs out another breath and looks back at her _ex-_friend, "It's not opening." She manages, her hand still on the handle.

"Move out of the way, Gidget." Santana mutters out and tries to open the door herself.

After a few seconds of cursing and pulling and failing, Santana kicks the metal door and lets out a sigh.

"Yeah, it's stuck." The Latina says looking up at the door, hands on her hips.

"You think?" Rachel spits out, earning her a glare from Santana. She pulls out her phone, dials the super's number and waits for an answer and all she gets is his voicemail. "You have got to be kidding me."

Santana shrugs. She's tired, and really isn't in the mood for this and even with all the clever and witty comments she has for the Hobbit in front of her, she makes her way to the living room and plops herself down onto the couch, "Looks like you're stuck here for a while, Berry." She mutters, picking up the remote and turning the TV on.

"I'm calling Kurt." Rachel says, panic starting to surface in her voice.

Santana shakes her head and lets out another sigh, "Have at it."

Suddenly, the two girls hear Katy Perry's Roar coming from Kurt's side of the loft and Santana hears Rachel groan from where she was standing.

"Please tell me that's not Kurt's phone ringing in his room." Rachel says with a big strain in her voice.

Santana shrugs, "Sure as hell isn't mine."

The taller girl is sure that Rachel's about to have an aneurism from the thought of being stuck in the loft with her but all she notices is Rachel shrug off her coat and sits on the infamous chair Santana dragged in almost a year ago.

The two girls sit in silence for a while and Santana's pretending not to notice Rachel glancing at her every few minutes until she hears the shorter girl clear her throat forcefully and Santana points the remote at the TV and turns it off.

"Alright, you know what? Just say what you need to say, Rachel. Let's just get this crap over with." She spits out, turning her body so she's facing the other girl.

Rachel doesn't even flinch, just crosses her legs and keeps her eyes on the TV. "I have nothing else to say to you, Santana. But if you're ready to apologize, now is the best time."

She doesn't even realize she's standing up until Rachel's eyes are finally fixed on her, "Are you fucking kidding me, Berry?" She yells out, "I have nothing to apologize for! When are you going to get that through your thick and incredibly ginormous skull?"

Rachel just looks at her without any emotion, so Santana sits back down onto the couch and takes a deep breath. "I wasn't trying to take the damn spotlight from you, or sabotage your Broadway dreams. So when you decide to get over your goddamn ego, let me know."

They sit in uncomfortable silence for another few minutes and Santana's almost tempted to just go down the fire escape and be as far away from Rachel Berry as possible, but she just got a new weave in and she knows how windy it's been outside today, and just screw that.

"What exactly are you trying to accomplish then?" Rachel finally mumbles out and Santana side eyes her for a small second before crossing her arms against her chest.

"I just needed something, okay? I needed to prove to myself that I'm worth more than that commercial; that I can do better." She mutters, her eyes finding Rachel's again, "You were being so supportive and cool and I mean…I knew you'd get pissed at first but I thought you'd just get the fuck over it and actually get excited that we'd be working together since you used to love that shit in glee club."

Rachel chews on her bottom lip as she listens to Santana speak and she will never say it out loud, but she's mentally face palming herself for being so self-absorbed…which she's usually totally fine with but it almost cost her this friendship which she now realizes is actually real and genuine.

Santana finally looks at her and takes a deep breath, "Look, I know how serious you're going to be taking this, and I knew that the only performances I would be doing would be during rehearsals, but that's still a big deal to me, Rachel. That's still something I could put on paper that I accomplished."

Rachel nods her head slowly and looks down at her lap and then back at her friend who's looking at her expectedly.

"Are you going to say something?" Santana asks softly.

The smaller girl opens her mouth and closes it again, letting out a breath and then moves to the couch next to the Latina.

"I'm going to hug you now, okay?" Rachel says softly, and she can see a small smile tug at the corner of Santana's lips, so she takes that as a green light and wraps her arms around her friend. She closes her eyes when she feels Santana's arms wrap around her as well.

"I've missed you." She chokes out and she can hear Santana let out a small laugh.

The taller girl pulls away softly and feels Rachel's hand in hers, "Well to my surprise, I kind of missed you too, dwarfling."


	2. Chapter 2

She hasn't slept in about 3 days.

The vacation was perfect. Well perfect in the sense that it only really validated what's she been feeling for the last 4 months.

_"Hey San…"_

_The brunette looks away from the sunset in front of her and notices Brittany leaning against the sliding doors leading to the balcony. It's their last night in Hawaii and it's been amazing and perfect and everything she's wanted since she realized she was in love with her best friend at 14 years old and for some reason, something still felt like it was missing. She doesn't wanna use the word wrong, per se, but it definitely doesn't feel completely right either._

_"Hey Britts." She flashes the blonde a small smile and gestures for her to come closer. To her surprise, Brittany doesn't wrap her arms around her waist like she's used to but leans against the balcony herself, her arms folded across her chest._

_Santana's eyes doesn't leave her girlfriend and when she realizes Brittany isn't going to say anything, her eyes gaze back onto the view in front of her and she lets out a small sigh._

_"We should probably get ready for dinner, huh?" Santana mutters softly. She suddenly feels the other girl's eyes on her so she turns her head and Brittany has this sad smile that kind of breaks Santana's heart. "B, what's the matter?" she asks, her hand on her girl's arm._

_"Something's missing." The taller girl says quietly._

_Santana furrows her eyebrows, "What is it? What are you missing?"_

_Brittany shakes her head and takes Santana's hand, leading her to the bench by the door._

_"Something's missing with you." She mutters softly, and when Santana's small frown doesn't leave her face, Brittany breathes in deeply and intertwines their fingers together._

_"Brittany, what are you talking about?"_

_"You've been thinking about someone else." The blonde isn't looking at Santana anymore, but down at her lap instead._

_Santana reacts quickly and moves closer towards Brittany, her arm wrapping around the other girl, "What? I told you, I broke it off with Dani. I haven't even thought about her at all during this entire trip!" _

_Brittany looks back up at her girlfriend and gives her another sad smile, "Not Dani, San. There's only one other person you've been texting during this trip."_

_"Berry?" Santana says confusingly, "Britt, I've just been checking in on her because of the play. That's nothing."_

_"San, even when you're not texting her, she somehow still comes up in all of our conversations." Brittany says with a small laugh, "And you check your phone every ten minutes whenever you're _not_ texting her to see if she will be again." Santana pulls away softly, her eyes not leaving Brittany's and…seriously? Is that what she's been doing? _

_"Santana, it's okay." Brittany continues, taking Santana's hand in hers again, "I kind of already figured—_

_"No, Britt!" The brunette shakes her head, and she can hear this laugh coming from her own throat that's…what is that? Nervousness? "Brittany, I don't feel that way about Rachel! I mean, come on! Rachel Berry?"_

_"Look, you were living with her for like, what? Five months? And you got to know her, and I think that's where all that fighting and anger and stuff was coming from. It's the same thing you did with me and Artie…reflecting, or something, right?"_

_Santana flinches at the memory and shakes her head, "You mean, deflecting. And no, Brittany, that's not the same thing. She's not you." _

_Brittany gives her that smile that Santana fell in love with in the first place, but she does feel something different, but no, it can't be because of another girl, and certainly not because of Rachel Berry._

_"Maybe that's why." Santana can't seem to find the logic in that reply, but she lets Brittany go on anyway, "We were best friends. You were my person and I was yours, and then I disappointed you so many times with Artie, and Sam, and then letting you go and it's only natural that you find another person. Rachel became yours. And I mean, really, I'm glad that it's Rachel…like yes, she talks a lot which sometimes makes me confused at what she's actually saying and she can be loud and super self-involved but I think that's what made you become the kick ass star that you've always wanted to be. _She_ pushed you to be as big as you're supposed to be, Santana."_

_The brunette lets those words sink in for a second and she takes a deep breath and pulls the other girl into her embrace, "Brittany…"_

_"I love you, Santana. I love you more than I've ever loved anyone in this world," She whispers into Santana's hair before pulling away slowly, just enough to look at the brunette's face again, "I told you that before, remember? And I meant it…and I still do. So because of that, I have to let you go." _

Santana honestly doesn't remember how she got to this point. Brittany was right, like she usually is in her own weird and amazing way. She just wishes it didn't turn out like this.

She hops out of the cab in front of the all too familiar beat up building and Santana takes a deep breath. She's almost thankful that there was a substantial reason for her being here and not just to declare to Rachel Berry that she may or may not be in love with her.

Sure, she's still technically the understudy. The only reason they let her take the last 4 weeks off is because it's only really been rehearsals for opening night and there was absolutely no way the real "star" (Yes, she means Rachel and she'll deny saying that if anyone were to ever find out) would never miss opening night anyway.

Until she gets a frantic voicemail message from Kurt claiming it's a 911 and she needs to get back to New York ASAP.

"Alright where is she?" Santana asks calmly as she walks through the loft door.

"In there." Kurt mutters, stress and panic still very evident in his voice as he gestures towards Rachel's curtain.

"She hasn't come out since like yesterday afternoon, we don't even know how's she's going to the bathroom…anyway she's supposed to be at the theatre in like an hour." Tina says, running her hand through her hair.

Most of the ol' glee crew is here...the ones who could make it anyway. She should be saying her hellos more warmly but there are more important and pressing issues to deal with.

Like their so called star getting cold feet on her opening night. The other discussion can wait.

Santana shrugs her coat off and straightens her dress down. "Give me four minutes."

Rachel can hear her friends muttering to themselves just a few feet from her space and she closes her eyes and takes a few deep breaths, trying to come up with something-anything- to get out of performing tonight.

She hears a shuffle from her curtain and peeks from under her covers to see Santana, arms folded across her chest and obviously waiting for her acknowledgement.

"Opening night is yours, San." She says lowly, "I'm not going."

She hears the other girl let out a frustrated breath.

"Well, it's nice to see you too, Berry. My trip was great by the way, thanks for asking." Santana mutters mockingly, taking a seat at the edge of Rachel's bed.

The shorter girl pushes her covers a bit so she can look at her friend and she can't help but scowl at Santana's tone. Doesn't she understand how serious this is?! She's not performing, and she needs her understudy to do her job.

Rachel sits up begrudgingly, "Isn't that why you came back? Kurt called you."

_That's not the only reason_, Santana thinks, "Kurt called me because I'm the closer. I'm not going on tonight, Rachel." She says softly with a sigh. _Focus on the matter at hand, Santana. _"Not unless you really piss me off and I break something of yours from dragging your tiny ass out of this loft. Then I'll do my understudy duties."

Rachel drops down on her bed again. "Have you read the comments? They're all terrible and— wait, what are you doing?" She notices Santana pull out her phone and begin scrolling through, "No, no I don't wanna hear them again, I can't—

"'She's an ancient, uptight princess; she's a freak…" Santana begins to read, "Her hands are frightening, more than amusing, and her movements are wildly bizarre."

Rachel gapes at Santana's tactics and she can feel her stomach tightening, "Santana, those are awful." She mutters, tears starting to stain her voice, "That's your idea of a pep talk?"

Santana lets out a laugh but the smaller girl notices that it's warm and not mocking which is…what? This is a cruel joke isn't it?

"You know I don't do pep talks, Berry." The taller girl says, flipping her hair off her shoulder, "And anyway, yes, those comments were awful…they were also written in 1964…about Barbra Streisand when she played Fanny."

Rachel sits up again and chews at her bottom lip, "I see what you did there." She says softly, looking up at Santana through those long eyelashes, "But, I don't wanna let anyone down, and according to like 100 Broadway blogs, I'm too rookies for this; the odds are so against me—

Santana rolls her eyes, "And since when has that ever stopped you, Rachel?" she says with a frustrated sigh, and before she even realized it, her hand is on top of her friend's and she notices that they weren't at all manly after all, "Look, the odds have been stacked against you for like ever, okay? Through glee club; during all of our performances and shows; coming to New York. Rachel, these things don't just happen to people, but you made it all happen anyway." Santana pauses, waiting for a reaction and she's a little surprised at the diva's actually letting her talk, so she keeps going anyway, "You don't even have to believe me, or yourself, all you have to do is get on that stage and open your mouth. You can't actually do this badly, okay? You just don't have it in you."

Santana finally notices a small smile tugging at the other girl's lips and she's trying to contain the figurative butterflies going fucking crazy in her stomach right now.

"You and I only have two speeds; awesome or not at all." She mutters softly and she feels Rachel give her hand a small squeeze, "So who cares what all the other peasants think?"

The shorter girl reaches her arms towards Santana and pulls her into a tight embrace, "Thank you…" She says softly and Santana sits taken aback for a second but then smiles against Rachel's hair and hugs the other girl back, breathing in her scent and has Rachel always smelled this good?

Rachel pulls away gently, snapping Santana back and she pretends to clear her throat, flashing Rachel a small smile.

"How was your trip anyway?" Rachel asks softly, noticing Santana's sudden discomfort, "Is Brittany here too?"

Santana shakes her head and Rachel can see the sadness in her eyes, "Just me. She had to take care of some things back at MIT."

"Do you wanna talk about it?" The smaller girl asks carefully.

Santana shakes her head looking down at her lap for a tiny moment and then back at Rachel, "Later. It's your opening night." She mutters out, forcing a smile and finally pulling herself up from the bed. "We need to haul ass and get you ready."

Santana holds out her hand and Rachel looks up at her with those big brown eyes and she quietly thanks Brittany for making her realize what's been eating at her for the last four months.

Rachel takes the other girls hand, lacing their fingers together.

"Thank you, Santana." She mutters softly, and all Santana can do is smile at the girl in front of her and starts thinking of what to say when she finally gets the balls to tell Rachel Berry how she feels.


	3. Chapter 3

She was incredible.

There's not much else to say about her roommate's performance; Rachel was nothing short of amazing.

Santana joins the rest of the crowd give Rachel a standing ovation and she watches as her friend beams brighter than the spotlights in front of her.

"I'll meet you guys back at the loft." Santana nudges at Kurt, trying to speak over the cheers from the crowd.

"You're not coming to the after party?"

Santana shakes her head, gives Kurt a forced smile and makes her way out of the theatre doors.

"Santana!"

The brunette breathes in deeply before turning around and sees Kurt walking out of the doors after her.

"You know she's going to get pissy that you won't be waiting in her dressing room with us popping champagne and such." Kurt says with a smile.

Santana lets out a small laugh, trying to avoid Kurt's gaze. If there's anything she's learned about Lady Hummel, it's that the dude is intuitive as all hell.

"I still have to unpack and jet lag is a bitch." Santana mutters, "I'll treat her to a congratulatory breakfast in the morning."

Kurt makes a face and then nods his head like he's the all-knowing gay or something and it's both unsettling and annoying.

"What?"

"Well I'm kind of sensing that some of your gay for Berry showing." He says in a matter-of-fact tone of voice. Santana can barely contain the look of shock in her face. _Seriously, how does he know this stuff? _"Brittany called me." He says, again reading her mind, "Said I needed to use some of my unicorn powers to make sure Snixx doesn't come out from bottling anymore of your emotions inside."

Santana rolls her eyes, "I'm still trying to figure things out, okay?"

Kurt nods his head and lets out a sigh, "I doubt Rachel will be too upset at you for leaving anyway, seeing as you were the one to get her here tonight." He mutters softly, "That was pretty amazing of you, Santana."

"Yeah well, we've had to endure all this time listening to her yap about Fanny and Broadway and I wasn't going to let those torturous years go in vain." She replies with a shrug noticing a smirk tugging at Kurt's lips. "You should go back in there before she notices both of us missing."

Kurt nods again and Santana's about to turn around to finish her get away when Kurt puts a hand on her arm, "By the way, I'm pretty sure you've got _some_ things figured out since you flew all the way here to get Rachel Berry on that stage after what's happened between you two in the last couple of months."

Santana chews at the inside of her cheek and before she gets another chance to say anything, Kurt's already walking back through the doors.

Well, she _was_ going to unpack and put her things away, but jet lag really is a bitch and the couch looks way too comfortable to not curl up in.

Three episodes of Orange is the New Black and a few tablespoons of peanut butter later, Santana hears the loft door slide open.

"I'll buy you a new jar of peanut butter Lady Lips, I got hungry." She says, not looking away from the TV.

"They're all partying at the village."

Santana turns around and notices Rachel hanging up her coat and making her way to the other side of the couch.

The taller girl sits up straight and furrows her eyebrows, "Why aren't you out celebrating your opening night? Which, by the way, was pretty dope, Berry. Congratulations." She says with a small smile, flicking the spoon jokingly towards her friend.

Rachel flashes this shy smile that the Latina will never admit is actually kind of adorable, "Thank you, Santana." She mutters softly.

The other girl returns the smile and clears her throat, her fingers fiddling with the blanket on her lap, "So, why are you here and not out celebrating?"

Rachel shrugs and is suddenly focused on something on the floor, "I'm kind of nervous to see the reviews come in the morning." She admits quietly.

Santana nods her head slowly, "Well, like I said, you put on quite the show, Berry. There's no way the guy from the New York Times feels any different from that standing ovation you got." She's trying to keep the bad ass-ness in her voice and not make it obvious that she actually feels nervous around Rachel fucking Berry right now.

The shorter girl tucks her hair behind her ear and smiles at Santana again, forcing the other brunette to shift uncomfortably in her seat so she puts her attention back at the TV to try and settle her nerves.

"So, are you going to tell me about your trip?" Rachel asks.

"Not now, this episode is getting good." Santana mutters, her eyes not leaving the TV.

"This was the episode you made me watch with you and Kurt. You've already seen it." The shorter girl says muting the show and shifting closer to her friend who's attention is now focused on her, "Help take my mind off the upcoming reviews and talk to me."

Santana lets out a loud sigh. She can totally deflect and just butter Rachel up with more compliments about her show or she can actually be honest and make this the most awkward living situation ever.

"Brittany and I broke up." _Pretty sure Mercedes has a spare bedroom anyway, right?_

Rachel's face drops and instantly places her hand on top of Santana's, "What? Why?"

Santana looks at the hand on top of hers and instantly feels the damn bugs in her stomach again.

She takes a deep breath and exhales slowly. _Well, here goes._ "She thinks I have feelings for someone else."

Rachel makes a face and shuffles closer, completely oblivious to Santana's discomfort, "Well, do you?"

"Is the heat on in here?" Santana asks, pushing the blanket off of her along with Rachel's hand, and begins pacing in front of the couch, "Jesus, since when do we even have heat?"

Rachel shakes her head and furrows her eyebrows, "We haven't had heat in months. The super still hasn't fixed it." She says, confusion in her voice, "Look, Santana, you don't have to tell me what happened I just thought maybe I could help—

"She thinks it's you, Rachel." She spits out, finally facing the girl in front of her, "She thinks I have feelings for you."

The loft air suddenly feels about ten times thicker and Santana just stares at her roommate/friend/girl she kind of maybe has feelings for? And who knew she would ever witness a speechless Rachel Berry? Either way, it's much more unsettling than she ever would have imagined.

"Look, I don't know when this happened, or how it happened but I don't really understand it either. And I've been trying to push it away, and distract myself and remember how annoying you used to be but—I don't know, I'm just so sick of fighting how I feel all the time. I made that mistake with Brittany for the majority of high school and look where that got me." Santana sits back down on the couch and takes another deep breath, "I'm not asking you to be with me or whatever, I just….Honestly, I don't even know why I decided tonight was the right time to tell you." She laughs quietly, looking back down at her lap and suddenly she feels Rachel's hand on hers and then Rachel's lips on her cheek and the shorter girl pulls away slowly, their eyes locked onto each other's and before she could even stop herself, Santana leans in again so their lips are connected.

Santana's not sure how long the kiss actually lasted, but she pulls away slowly and notices Rachel's eyes still closed, her lips slightly parted.

The taller girl clears her throat and sucks her bottom lip between her teeth, "Sorry, I didn't mean to—I don't know why I—

And suddenly, Rachel's lips are on hers again and Santana moans into the kiss as she tugs at Rachel's shirt to pull her closer. The diva's hand finds the back of her neck intensifying the kiss even more. After a few moments, Santana pulls away again and presses their foreheads together.

"Rachel…" she breathes out, "Is this a good idea?"

Rachel closes her eyes, and breathes in deeply, "Your lips are really, really soft." She whispers softly, "I, umm...I don't know if this is a good idea but—

Santana nods and quickly drops a kiss to Rachel's forehead, "I'll sleep at Mercedes' tonight."

Rachel makes a face and takes Santana's hand before the taller girl has a chance to walk away, "No, please. You can't just leave after kissing me like that." She says quickly and Santana doesn't say anything else, "I'm going to get changed and get into my pajamas and we're going to sit on this couch and watch TV, okay?"

"You're okay with that?" Santana asks carefully.

Rachel nods and gives Santana's hand a small squeeze, "We don't have to figure it all out tonight. I just know that that kiss…it felt nice, Santana."

"Right. We can figure it out tomorrow." The taller girl says softly with a small smile.

Rachel nods confidently and returns the smile. "Besides, Kurt informed me that you mentioned something about taking me out for a celebratory breakfast and you know how I feel about the most important meal of the day."


	4. Chapter 4

**I need your comments on this one. This was a tad bit difficult to write, but I watched the Quarterback again, and I tried to do these characters justice. I hope you guys like it!**

It's been a week.

It's been a whole week since Santana kissed her. And the girl hasn't said another word about what happened once.

Not even during the morning after. The two girls ended up staying up for most of the night watching Netflix and when Santana noticed Rachel fidgeting on the couch all night, she put on the Wicked soundtrack and let Rachel belt out whichever song her little heart desired, even singing along with her just to keep her mind off Funny Girl.

And when Rachel slept through her alarm, she woke up to the smell of coffee and bagels and Santana immediately reading off the New York Times review raving about how incredible she played the role of Fanny. Rachel couldn't even think of a better way to spend the morning after her very first opening night.

But after that, Santana's been staying at Mercedes' place which is...whatever, there's barely been enough room at the loft lately so Rachel totally gets that. She's been understanding and tight lipped because Santana is technically going through a big break up with the girl who Rachel thought was the love of Santana's life so whatever, she'll be mature and not be crazy Berry about it. But still, she flew back to New York and confessed her feelings to her on her opening night for God's sake. That means something right?

She's not just being crazy.

But here she is, in front of Mercedes' door and all she can do is stand there and think about the fact that she's about to confront Santana Lopez about her damn feelings.

"Rachel?"

Shit. The door is open. And of course Santana's the one to open it.

"Uh, yeah. Hi." She chokes out.

Santana makes a face, and when Rachel doesn't say anything else...

"Look, I saw you get out of the cab like..." Santana looks at her watch, "twenty minutes ago and you've been standing here ever since so, just come in, alright?"

The taller girl steps aside and waves her arm towards the foyer. Rachel forces a smile and walks in, wrapping her arms around herself. She follows Santana into the living room and when Santana glances at the couch and raises her eyebrow at the diva, she takes that as a cue to sit.

"Look, I'm sorry I haven't been around..." Santana says slowly, pacing and looking down at the floor before glancing up at Rachel again.

"I'm just a little confused, Santana." Rachel mutters out carefully, "I mean, you kissed me...on my opening night, and then told me that you're no longer with Brittany because you have feelings for me. I just...am I missing something?"

"No. I mean...look, I know, and I'm sorry."

"I'm not exactly sure what you're apologizing for. Did you not mean any of it? Do you regret kissing me?"

"No." Santana says with a loud sigh, "No, I meant everything I said, and I don't regret kissing you...or maybe I do—

Rachel stands up abruptly, "Okay, well then I'm sorry too. I'm just gonna go—

"No, Rachel! Just wait, okay?"

"You just said you regret kissing me, and last I checked, that should not be something one should be regretful of and—

"Your _Finn's_, Rachel!" Santana says suddenly, "Your Finn's, okay? And I can't...I shouldn't have done that."

Rachel's chest suddenly feels heavy and she drops back down on the couch behind her. She hears Santana take a deep breath and she looks up to see the other girl running a hand through her hair.

"Can you sit down, please?" Rachel asks so softly that Santana barely hears, but she does and if she could just not see the look on Rachel's face right now, this would probably be so much easier.

"I think about him every single day." The shorter girl says softly, looking down at her lap, "And when he died, I never thought I'd ever feel normal again."

This is all too much. Santana looks over at the girl next to her and it's taking every ounce of strength she has to not wrap herself around the other girl. It's all just too much.

"But what got me through was being around you and Kurt and the people who mean the most to me; with the people who meant the most to _him_." Santana feels Rachel's hand on her lap and it's about the only solid thing her brain can grasp on to so she holds it tightly. "I will always love Finn. But if there was anything that I learned from any of this; if there was anything that Finn taught me, it's that life is too short. And as much as I didn't want it to, my life had to change and I have to keep going with it."

Santana shakes her head and she doesn't want to cry; especially not in front of Rachel, but she can feel the tears brimming her eyes. "I can't replace him, Rachel." Is all she can say.

The shorter girl tugs at Santana's hand and holds it against her chest, right above her heart, "I'm not asking you to replace him." She says softly, "I would never ask or want you to replace him. Listen, I don't know what this is or what it's going to be, but you...look, Santana, the other night, when you told me all those things, I felt like I let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding this whole time."

Rachel looks back down at her lap and lets out a small laugh, "That was really cheesy, wasn't it?"

Santana can feel herself smiling, "It kind of was..."

"But it's the truth. I missed you while you were away, and I missed you this whole week." Rachel shuffles closer, placing a hand on Santana's cheek, almost waiting for the girl to move away, and when she doesn't, Rachel decides to go for broke and all she can think as she captures Santana's lower lip is, _please don't pull way_, and then nothing else, because she hasn't felt this good since—

It was that silent moment where all they can hear is the furnace's soft humming and then Rachel presses in to the kiss for another second before pulling away so she can pull her coat off.

Santana leans in again and presses their lips together, her hands finding Rachel's hips. The shorter girl leans back against the arm of the couch pulling Santana down with her and Santana can feel warm skin against her fingers. She kisses down Rachel's jaw for a few seconds and she pulls away, noticing Rachel's shirt riding up and her eyes drift down to where her hands are pressing.

She looks up at Rachel, who suddenly realizes what Santana had just noticed and she sucks her bottom lip between her teeth.

"I got it done a few months ago. I didn't even tell Kurt."

Santana nods and leans down, placing a soft kiss on the small tattoo before setting her eyes back up at the girl above her.

"Have you had dinner?" Santana asks, adjusting Rachel's shirt down again.

"I didn't get a chance, I came straight here after rehearsal," is all Rachel says, giving Santana a shy smile.

There's a small moment when Santana thinks, how have I never noticed Rachel's dimples? But that's really just the tip of the iceberg so she nods again and gets up off the couch, holding out her hand for Rachel to take.

"I'm gonna take you out." She declares suddenly.

"Like a date?" Rachel asks carefully, taking Santana's hand and scrunching her eyebrows together with that cute, stupid smile not leaving her face.

All Santana does is nod and then helps Rachel put her coat back on, "If I'm going to do this, I'm going to do it the proper way."

Rachel lets out a small laugh and says, "There's a restaurant that Blaine took us to once and they have the best steak according to Sam, as well as a pretty impressive vegan menu. We can go there if you want."

"I already have a place in mind, and it's all vegan." Santana says, shrugging on her own coat. "It's got Rachel Berry written all over it."

She's not going to admit that she's been researching the best Vegan places in Brooklyn, but she has and she wants Rachel to know that if this is what it's going to take to let her know she's in this for real, so be it.

She can be vegan.

For like a week or something.


	5. Chapter 5

It's 10 in the morning and it's the only morning that Santana or Rachel don't have to be at the theatre or the diner. The only reason that Santana is sitting in front of Rachel at a coffee shop all the way at the other side of the bridge at 10am on the only morning she could sleep in is the fact that this is the only time she can openly hold Rachel's hand without constantly looking over her shoulder to see if any of their friends are around.

"When should we tell everyone?" Rachel asks, tapping her finger on the lid of her coffee cup and rubbing small circles on the top of Santana's hand.

Santana hums in response, "I'm going to fall asleep if you keep doing that," she says, propping her elbow against the table and rests her cheek against her hand.

"Seriously, Santana," Rachel tugs at her hand, "It's our one week anniversary and—

"Are one week anniversaries even a thing?"

Rachel decides to ignore that comment, "…and I want to be able to hold your hand and kiss you in front of our friends." She says with a small pout.

Santana looks at her for a second and lets it sink in that she's really, really having this conversation with Rachel Berry right now and she really, really likes it so she leans in and pulls the other girl in for a kiss, "Like that?" she says against Rachel's lips.

Rachel nods and smiles, "Yes, so when and how are we going to do that?"

"E-mail?" Santana suggests, "Mass text? Courier service?"

"Will you please be serious with me for once?" She's using the whiney voice now.

"Rachel, I flew to New York and confessed sappy, sentimental and very serious feelings for you."

"And that turned out great, didn't it?" Rachel says with a smile.

Santana drops another small kiss on the other girl's nose and lets out a sigh, "They're not going to take it well." She says.

"I don't think you're giving our friends enough credit." Rachel says confidently before taking another sip of her coffee, "I mean, Kurt took the news really well from Brittany. And look at Sam and Mercedes!" Rachel points out, "We welcomed that with open arms. It's only fair that they do the same for us."

"Fish Lips and Mercedes are different; they already sort of dated already….or did they? What was the deal with that anyway?"

Rachel shakes her head and shrugs, "It's gonna be fine, Santana. I bet they won't even say too much about it."

Santana doesn't have to rub it in Rachel's face when that statement turns out to be very wrong. Saying that their relationship was a surprise to everyone is probably the biggest understatement of the century.

Santana was all for just making out with Rachel on one of their dinners all together to let everyone know but Rachel thought it would probably be best to announce it in a formal way…which included a mass text the morning of, saying: _Santana and I have an announcement to make before dinner tonight so everyone please be over at 7pm sharp. Lasagna and roasted beet salad is on the menu. Looking forward to seeing you guys tonight xx =)_

She got all confirmation texts within the next few hours, all of which were the usual thumbs up emoji from each of her friends. She was almost disappointed that no one wanted her to elaborate but then she thought better of it and decided there would probably be enough drama during dinner to last her a little while.

"So what's the big announcement?" Artie asks, unfolding his napkin to put on his lap.

"Tell me you guys are getting a big interview on Kelly and Michael as the two old time friends who are tackling Broadway together!" Mercedes says excitedly.

Rachel laughs and makes a mental note to talk to her PR about that. It wouldn't hurt, obvi.

"No, but it is a pretty big announcement nonetheless." Rachel says cautiously, glancing at Santana and then back at their friends and who knew she'd ever be this uncomfortable being the center of attention, "Well…how should we say this?" She's looking at Santana again, her hands folded neatly on her lap.

"Alright, let's just get this over with." Santana sighs and straightens her back, "My vacation didn't go as planned, Brittany and I broke up, and now Rachel and I are together. Now let's eat, I'm starving." She immediately reaches for the lasagna and begins piling the food on her plate.

Rachel clears her throat uncomfortably and purses her lips together, watching all of her friends' eyes glazed over. All except Kurt, who asks Santana to pass the salt.

All she can really do is follow her roommate's lead and begins putting some salad onto her plate.

"Can you guys say that again?" They've got a live one.

Rachel looks up at Blaine, who's clearly expecting an answer and when she sees Santana's mouth full of lasagna and just straight up _shrugs_ at her, she puts down her utensils and takes in a deep breath.

"Santana and I are—

"There's absolutely no way!" Sam finally says, a little louder than Rachel was really expecting, which caught Santana and Kurt's attention too, so there's that.

"Santana, how could you do this?!" Sam is on his feet now, and Mercedes puts a hand on her boyfriend's arm.

"Sam, wait-

"No, where is this even coming from?!"

Santana looks up and as much as she wants to bitch slap the blonde off his head right now for his damn tone, she leans back against her chair and doesn't look away from Sam's stare.

"First of all, although I don't believe I need to explain myself, I was just as surprised as you, Samuel, when _Brittany_ broke up with _me_ because she realized my feelings for Rachel." She says with confidence, "This isn't something that I cruelly planned to fuck with all of you. Contrary to popular belief, I actually have feelings, which I was surprised to find out for myself too." She can see that Sam is breathing like crazy heavy right now, and she even glances at Artie who's glaring pretty angrily at her and she didn't even know he was capable of doing that.

"Look, I know history is kind of going against me here, but I do want to make this work and I promise all of you, right now that I would never do anything to disrespect or hurt Rachel. I don't expect approval from any of you, nor am I even asking for it, but this is how it's going to be…for as long as Rachel wants me." She says with a sigh, looking over at the other girl whose smile is so wide that it's taking every ounce of restrain she has to not kiss her right then and there.

"Rachel?" Mercedes looks over at the diva, who nods and instantly takes Santana's hand and grips it tightly.

"This just feels right, guys." She says, looking at Santana and then back at her friends, "And Santana's right. You guys don't have to approve of this; you don't even have to like it. But as our friends, all we ask is for your respect. "

The two girls notice Sam shaking his head but sitting back down next to Mercedes anyway, looking down at his plate.

And then Blaine, of all people, says "But Finn—

Kurt cuts in this time and puts his hand on top of his fiancée's, "Finn would want Rachel to move on and keep living her life," He says softly, looking at the two girls in front of him, "Santana doesn't have to prove anything to us, and even if she did, her loyalty to Rachel since living with us is proof enough." Which is the whole truth and nothing but the truth considering the pregnancy scare, the Brody fiasco, getting Rachel the job at the diner; Kurt can seriously go on but he's not going to list it. He doesn't have to; not when he can see the way Santana looks at Rachel now like she's some sort of magic.

"I support it." Mercedes says, folding her arms across her chest and she looks over at Santana and Rachel who are smiling from their seats, "Can we just take a step back and remember who we're talking to here? I trust both of their judgments and I pity whoever tries to get on Rachel's bad side now that Santana's her girlfriend."

Rachel loops her arm around Santana's and smiles, looking up at her, she whispers, "Girlfriend…"

Santana lets out a small laugh and presses their foreheads together for a second before looking back towards their friends, "Any other questions, objections or comments?" she asks, and then looks towards Sam again, "Cheer up, Trouty. We were finally starting to get our groove back," she says, picking up a piece of lasagna with her fork, "I'd hate to start unleashing Snixx out on you again."


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: This is my very first try at smut guys! I'm sorry if it's a little choppy or weird or bad. I'm sorry...But I hope you enjoy the idea of the story anyway :)**

It's not that Santana was nervous to tell Quinn. It really wasn't that all; after everything they've been through together (literally through hell and back) she knew that the blonde would be the last to judge any of her decisions.

So, no, Santana was not nervous. It's just...she hasn't really reached out to Quinn since Mr. Schue's non-wedding and well, Rachel doesn't exactly know about what happened with the two Cheerios that night. She knows she didn't do anything wrong, _per se_; she was single and so was Quinn. Rachel was still going through her Plastic Man phase and she's pretty sure the girl ended up with Finn that night anyway.

(Seriously, she's pretty sure the glee club has dated more incestuously than a small town in Kentucky.)

"It's better if Quinn finds out from us, rather than anyone else," was Rachel's reasoning, "and besides, I'm curious what her reaction will be, along with Noah's."

And that's what brings her here, in front of her MacBook, with Rachel, waiting for Quinn to get on Skype.

But no, Santana's not fucking nervous, okay?

"She's not answering, Rach." She sighs, taking a swig of her water bottle, "We'll try again tomorrow."

Rachel furrows her eyebrows and mumbles something about Quinn promising that she'd pick up.

"You know how she is. She'll call back when she feels like it." Santana's just about to click the end call button when she notices Puck's face on her screen smiling like a fool.

"Long time no see, ladies!" Santana almost rolls her eyes, but then again, she has really missed her friend and she can't even help but smile at the surprise.

"Noah! You're in New Haven?" Rachel asks excitedly and the girl is literally at the edge of her seat smiling widely at the screen.

"Yep, decided to surprise my girl," he says with the famous Puckerman grin, "and then ended up getting a nice surprise myself when she tells me that Lopez and Berry are now a thing? Had no idea you even swing that way, Rach."

Totally done being happy about Puck's face showing up on her screen anymore.

She's done with pleasantries now. Puck and Quinn both know about her and Rachel. And she knows for a fact none of the boys or Mercedes would even dare to pry and tell Quinn themselves. She's not really surprised that Brittany would reach out to their friend but why wouldn't Quinn say something to her?

"She had a meeting with that girl's only cult she's in. She'll be back up here any second, but she said you guys would be calling, so I'm here." Puck says, "So, when exactly did this glorious pairing begin?"

That's the thing about Puck that Santana both hates and appreciates; he doesn't give a crap about awkward situations, regardless of how awkward the other party feels. If she's going to be honest, she was more worried about Puck's reaction than Quinn's. Hell, if Sam reacted the way he did, she wouldn't have been surprised if Puck decided to make his way here and give her his opinion, very loud and angry like. And even though Puck seems to be taking it well, it doesn't take away from the fact that she's pretty pissed that Quinn didn't come to her first.

Rachel, bless her soul, notices Santana's obvious discomfort and clears her throat, "Maybe we should just wait for Quinn so we only have to explain this once."

"Brittany texted me while you guys were still in Hawaii." Quinn's on screen now, putting a hand on Puck's shoulder, "Sorry, I'm late guys." She gives Puck a small kiss on the lips (Santana obnoxiously makes a face) "Anyway, she told me the situation and that you, Santana, were acting distant. And asking if letting you go was the right thing to do."

"So you've known and didn't even bother coming to me?" Santana snaps before she can even stop herself.

Quinn rolls her eyes, and it's a good thing she can only see the blonde through this laptop screen because Santana is more than willing to re-enact their last slap fest.

"Simmer down, Santana. Britt told me to keep it to myself until you felt comfortable enough to come to me—

"Well that didn't seem to stop you from sharing the very personal news with Puckerman here." She replies, her voice not at all simmering down. But then she notices Rachel looking quite uncomfortable herself now, so she reaches over and grabs her hand.

"We're no longer hiding anything from each other." Quinn says in a-matter-of-fact tone of voice, "It's a new thing we're trying."

Santana exhales loudly and she can feel Rachel giving her hand a small squeeze, "So you guys are okay with this?" The diva asks carefully.

The couple shrugs simultaneously and it looked cute and unsettling all at the same time, "Hey, who are we to give relationship advice?" Puck replies easily.

"Are you guys happy?" Quinn asks and Santana looks over at Rachel for a second and she can't even stop herself from smiling, "I can't speak for Rachel, but yeah, I really am."

Rachel glances back at Santana and without looking away, she says, "Very, happy."

"How fucking cute." Of course Puck has to ruin the moment, the prick.

Santana hears Quinn let out a small laugh, "Well then, that's all that matters. I'm happy for you guys." The Latina looks at her friend questionably, "Seriously. You both deserve it more than anyone I know."

So maybe they are all kind of growing up, and she's seriously ready to tuck away the last few years into a big box and very clearly label it _Do Not Touch_ because she's so very ready to move on.

"Well, now that we've gotten that out of the way," Puck says, "I just wanna give Santana Lopez a virtual high five here for getting with the three of the hottest girls in Glee club." Quinn immediately smacks Puck's arm and gives the infamous Fabray glare, "What? I'm just saying I'm impressed is all."

Santana rolls her eyes, "You really weren't kidding when you said you're not keeping _anything_ from each other, huh?" She says before disconnecting the call.

"What does he mean getting with all three of us?" Rachel asks, and shit—

"Puck's stupid, he was just playing around." Santana replies, shutting her laptop and placing a quick kiss on Rachel's lips before making her way to the kitchen.

"How about we follow their lead and not keep anything from each other?"

_Goddamn it Puck._

Santana stops walking, lets out a sigh and looks back at the other girl patting the empty seat on the couch, "Fine, but you can't get all pissy and jealous, alright?"

"I can't promise anything." Rachel says simply, "Now, shoot."

She could seriously drive up to New Haven right now and kick Puck right between the legs for putting her in this situation.

"At Mr. Shue's non-wedding, there was a ton of booze and Brittany was still with Trouty and," she takes a deep breath and the fact that she can't even read Rachel's expression right now is just _wonderful,_ "Quinn was there, and we were drunk, and ended up in a hotel room together."

Rachel nods slowly, still showing no sign of rage or anger, so good sign. "So you guys had sex." It's not so much a question but a statement and Santana nods, "Were you ever attracted to her?"

Santana makes a face and then shakes her head quickly, "What? No, never!" She says immediately, "Seriously, I have never looked at Quinn that way; we were both just super trashed."

"But didn't you say you never thought you would be attracted to me either, and yet, here we are." Rachel states and Santana seriously has no idea where this conversation is headed but it can't be anywhere good.

"First off, I never said that. As much as I never admitted it, I always thought you were super hot, okay?" It's not a lie, but she's willing to say anything right now to get herself out of this hole that she's currently digging for herself, "Second, that's different. You and Quinn are like polar opposites."

Rachel makes a face, "So what does that mean?"

Santana groans, "Rachel, why are we even talking about this? I'm in a relationship _with you_. Not Quinn. And I wouldn't, nor have I ever wanted otherwise."

Rachel looks at her for a second and nods her head again, "Okay." She says simply, getting up and leaving Santana on the couch.

The other girl lets out a heavy sigh and drops her head on the back of the couch, "Rachel, just come back here and tell me what the issue is, okay?"

Rachel turns back towards her and then suddenly finds something mighty interesting on the floor because she's no longer looking at Santana's face so the Latina reaches up and takes her girlfriend's hand and pulls her back down on the couch, "Look, I have never, nor will I ever, look at Quinn that way. And it was a stupid, sloppy night, okay? It meant absolutely nothing." She says softly, "So just talk to me, what is this really about?"

Rachel looks up at her through those eyelashes and rolls her eyes, mostly at herself and says, "Well, you guys had that one night, and we've been dating for like a couple of weeks now, and you haven't even once tried anything."

The first thing that pops into Santana's head is to stare, seriously, for like a solid three seconds. And then she decides that she still doesn't fully understand so-

"What? Try any— what?"

Rachel looks up again and the girl looks pissed, "Ugh, never mind, Santana." She crosses her arms across her chest and leans back along the couch, "Let's just order take out, Kurt and Blaine are out for the night so we don't have to wait for them to have dinner."

Santana doesn't really move and she's just trying to wrap her head around what Rachel is actually saying.

"I didn't know you wanted me to '_try_' anything..." She does the air quotes to lighten the mood, but that just earns her a glare, "Look, I just didn't wanna rush anything. That doesn't mean I don't want that with you, because I really, really do."

Because duh, she's even embarrassed at how many times she's abused her vibrator in the last few weeks.

"Really?" Rachel asks in this small voice.

Santana nods, "Well, yeah." She sighs, "Of course, I want to…_Trust me_. But the ball's in your court. Only when you're ready."

Rachel smiles, and leans in to give Santana this slow and amazing kiss as she straddles the Latina's lap that pretty much makes Santana's stomach flip a few times and all she can think is that they should've really had this conversation sooner.

Rachel pulls away but keeps her hand on the back of Santana's neck, their foreheads pressed together, "Well, like I said," she pauses to push her hair off her shoulders, "it's just you and me tonight." She breathes out, "So I'm thinking you're going to really, really get what you want."

Santana lets out a low laugh, nipping at Rachel's lower lip, "I'm so glad I get to see this side of Rachel Berry." She mutters out, kissing Rachel in this desperate and hungry way making the other girl moan against her mouth and the sound alone sends a wave of arousal throughout her body.

A part of her is telling her to just go for broke and start tearing clothes off, but a much bigger part is forcing her to slow down; Santana's never been good with words so she tries to make up for what she can't say through her actions and if they're going to do this (and judging by the way Rachel is licking into her mouth and the way fingers are now threading their way through her hair, this is definitely happening) it's going to be so Rachel knows how important this is to her; how this is so much more than she was ever expecting it to be.

Rachel pulls away to pull off her own shirt and Santana's brain barely even registers that there's now a very shirtless girl on top of her before she notices her own top strewn on the floor along with Rachel's.

She notices the other girl reaching back to unclip her bra and that's when Santana decides to stop second guessing everything and to just give Rachel what she wants.

"Here, let me." She says, reaching behind before pulling the straps down the diva's arms and tossing it away.

She can feel eyes on her as she thumbs at each nipple and then Rachel's off her lap, taking her hand and pulling her into the bedroom.

Their lips don't even separate when the back of Santana's legs hit the bed and Rachel's on top of her again, kissing along her jaw and down her neck. She knows Rachel topping her is far from being a bad thing but she figures that can wait so she flips them both over so Santana's hovering above the other girl, kissing down her neck and chest and when Santana's lips close around one nipple, Rachel arches her back, fingers tugging at her hair.

"God," Rachel pants, "What are you doing to me?"

Santana smiles against warm skin and pulls away, "May I?" her fingers are trailing along the top of Rachel's shorts and when the shorter girl nods and bites her lower lip, Santana's brain pretty much short circuits for a second before Rachel's hips rise so Santana can pull off the offending garment. She stands up quickly to pull off her own jeans and then she's back on top of Rachel, her hands sliding down her hips to steady the girl beneath her.

"Santana…"

"Hmm?" is the only response she can make when she's nipping and licking down Rachel's collarbone. She hears a small moan and quickly makes a mental note to remember the spot to elicit that beautiful sound. She pulls away softly to look into dark eyes and licks at her bottom lip, "You okay?"

Rachel nods quickly and Santana feels Rachel's hands on her hips, pressing down at her skin, "I just…I've never—with a girl, and—

Santana smiles and leans down to connect their mouths again before laying on her side, grazing her lips along Rachel's neck, "We'll go slow, okay?"

She lets her hands wander, listening to Rachel's breathing and when her hands move down and over Rachel's stomach and then her hips, she notices the girl draw her leg up a tiny bit, spreading herself to Santana's gaze so she takes that as a big green light and drags her fingers lower, down Rachel's folds.

The sound that comes out of Rachel's mouth and the overwhelming amount of wetness she can feel makes Santana's mind go completely blank and she mentally slaps herself to focus on the matter at hand because the way Rachel's hips are now rolling against her hand is a sight Santana realizes she will never _ever _get enough of. And when she rolls her fingers across the top of Rachel's clit with enough pressure, the fingers that are threaded through Santana's hair tightens into a fist.

"Santana…more…" Rachel breathes out, and Santana doesn't waste anytime time pulling herself up and settling between Rachel's legs, dragging the top of her fingers along Rachel's wetness and then slowly pressing into her, eliciting a loud moan. She sinks in deeper, and when she curls her fingers along Rachel's walls, the smaller girl pulls her into a deep kiss that only lasts a few seconds before gasping, "harder," against her lips as she clutches at the back of Santana's neck.

She knows it won't be much longer now, not when she can feel Rachel's walls pulsing against her fingers and the noises she's making is enough to make Santana's hips grind against her side and when Rachel's hips rock faster against her hand and panting against her lips, Santana curls her fingers again and the sounds that Rachel's making are choked off as she comes, clenching around Santana's fingers.

She strokes her through wave after wave of pleasure and when Rachel comes down from her orgasm, Santana pulls her fingers away slowly, dropping her face into her girlfriend's neck because _Jesus fuck. _

"That was…" she mumbles against warm skin. She can feel the fast beating of Rachel's pulse and the girl taking a deep breath—

"Yeah…" is the only response she gets until Rachel's straddling her lap and leans down to lick into Santana's mouth earning her a groan from the Latina, "That was incredible." She says softly against Santana's lips, "My turn now, though."


End file.
